A Zoopla Purple Umbrella please as my feet are dry

Couldn't help notice my owner having a bit of banter on Twitter about a purple Zoopla umbrella the other night after wine-o-clock.  There was much banter about rain and floods, my owner made it clear to all that it doesn't flood here and she's right - to an extent.

Part of me was here long before 1500AD (I have some old limbs and joints to prove that!) and then added to some time in the early 1600's I think.  In all that time I can't recall a flood - until my current owner arrived that is - she ommitted to mention that single handedly she caused my entire courtyard to flood on New Year's Day 1998.  She'd only been here a day or two and I wasn't best pleased.

In those days I was still a Barn - a luxury residence for a couple of shetland ponies, rather than a luxury residence for people.  My owners moved in to their two berth touring caravan which was sited at the bottom of a steep bank on one side of the courtyard.

At the top of the bank was the Mains Water pipe which had been installed ready for connection to the barn - these owners like water from a blue plastic pipe for some reason instead of the two wells which everyone else used quite happily for many years.

On New Year's Eve 1997 my owner set about digging a trench from the top of the bank down to the Courtyard to accommodate the blue plastic pipe and extend it down to my end wall.

The trench was dug and ready for the next day when my owner was to install the pipe - she retired exhausted to the little caravan and slept soundly .... until the rain started hammering so hard on the roof both my owners were awoken by the noise.  We all looked on in disbelief as rain water and mud was pouring out of the end of the trench like a waterfall down the bank and into my courtyard.  The bank itself was like a seive, holes and cracks opening up everywhere and water pouring out of it as the trench walls could no longer contain the amount of water.

Panic ensued - there was as much panic as water in the next few moments.  Owners donned overalls, grabbed spades and took to the field above the bank.

It seems the trench had formed a kind of funnel for all the rain that fell on the sloping field above and was dumping the lot into my courtyard!

Owners set to and began digging a trench horizontally across the field to divert the rain water away from the trench. They were already exhausted and this was no mean feat.  Thankfully the farmer turned up and like a steam train he chugged across the field with his Devon Spade in no time at all.  The water stopped coming and the trench water receded, I didn't get my feet wet as I stand on a sandstone plinth about a metre off the ground level but I can tell you it caused a right stir.

So the next job after installing the blue plastic pipe was to install better drainage all round.  The farmer - a true Gent installed proper drainage across the field to permanently divert the water and my owners installed land drains to the Courtyard diverting any possible surface water across the farm fields.

Job done I've thankfully had dry feet ever since.  My owner is now more concerned about a Purple Umbrella to keep her hair dry than worrying about my feet and I think she deserves one don't you Zoopa?!